Mindfulness

Is this the sitting cross legged thing?

It can be, if that appeals to you. Mostly it is not. In DBT, mindfulness is the foundation skill and it is entirely practical: noticing what is actually happening, right now, without immediately arguing with it.

You can do that washing dishes, driving, or standing in a hallway before you walk into a difficult room.

Why does it matter?

Because most of what hurts happens somewhere else. The conversation from Thursday, replayed. The meeting on Monday, rehearsed. Meanwhile the actual present moment, which is usually survivable, goes unnoticed.

Attention is also the gap where choice lives. If you can notice the heat rising two seconds earlier, you get a decision you did not have before.

What if my mind will not stay quiet?

Then your mind is working correctly. The point is not a quiet mind, it is noticing where the mind went and bringing it back. That noticing is the repetition, the same way a lift is the repetition at the gym.

For people carrying trauma, turning attention inward can be uncomfortable at first. We adjust for that, and we start with things outside you: sound, the ground, what the light is doing, before anything else.

How small can we start?

Very. One minute, once a day, attached to something you already do. Goals stay specific and achievable, because a twenty minute daily practice you never begin helps nobody.

Two things are true: your attention is genuinely trainable, and today's version of it is not a character flaw.

Ready when you are.

Therapy starts with a conversation. Send a short message and tell me what is going on, in your own words. We meet in person in Omaha, and online across Nebraska and Rhode Island.