Veterans

Why do so many of us never go?

A lot of people in the military, if we need help, they do not understand us in the civilian world. So we do not go get help.

There is also the practical version. You have sat in front of a form that stood between you and going home to your family, and you answered it the way that got you home. Nobody who has been there is surprised by that. It is worth saying out loud, because it is often the reason the first honest conversation is happening years later.

What do you already understand?

What deployment does to a household, and what coming back does to it again. What it costs to be responsible for other people for a long time, and what happens to a person when that responsibility is suddenly gone. Why quiet weeks can be harder than loud ones.

I understand the pull to keep functioning, because functioning is what you were trained to do. Two things are true: you are doing your best with what you have, and there is a way through this that does not depend on white knuckling it.

What does the work look like?

Direct. We name the thing, we set goals that are specific and achievable, and we work as a team on them. My primary method is DBT, so we build usable skills for the moments that go sideways: sleep, anger, the moment before you say something you cannot take back, the numbness that gets called being fine.

The aim is a life worth living. Not a version of you that passes inspection. A life you want to be in.

What veterans often bring here

• Sleep that never came back
• Anger that arrives faster than it used to, usually at home
• The transition out, and what to do with an identity built around the job
• Grief for people who did not come back, and for the version of yourself who left
• A marriage or a family that has been holding its breath

Ready when you are.

Therapy starts with a conversation. Send a short message and tell me what is going on, in your own words. We meet in person in Omaha, and online across Nebraska and Rhode Island.